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IMG_3837I had my second c-section on May 11th at 12:45, it was a scheduled c-section. I’ve learned a lot of new facts about second c-sections and I think it may be worthwhile to share with moms who are anticipating going under the big knife again. Please note that all facts are based on my personal experience and every woman’s birth story is different….so use my knowledge but don’t hold me to it.

Here are 3 facts I now know about second time c-sections:

  1. Having a scheduled c-section is probably one of the most civilized way to give birth.
  2. The recovery time on your second c-section is definitely easier than the first time.
  3. It really sucks not being able to lift your first-born child, like really sucks.

Here are 3 facts I now know about second babies

  1. Second babies are easier, they themselves may not be an easy baby, but the shock of what has happened to your life is eliminated, it’s like riding a bicycle, you never forget.
  2. The hormonal roller coaster still climbs up the mountains and speeds right down, but you’re more ready for it, it doesn’t seem as looming, dooming and everlasting.
  3. The guilt, yes that’s right the guilt which I wasn’t expecting at all, hits you so hard in the face, the guilt of what you didn’t do with your first-born, your inability to spend time alone with them (especially if they are a toddler, as mine wants to jump all over my broken body). There’s mom guilt and then there’s new kind of guilt…it has a different a scent, one that knocks you over with sadness.

IMG_3866On the night of May 10th, which happened to be mother’s day, I spent most of the evening fighting back tears of joy, sadness and anxiety. It’s a strange way to spend your mother’s day, but what’s even stranger is knowing that the next day you’ll finally get to meet that teeny, tiny person who has been growing in your belly for the past 39 weeks.

My first c-section was not an “emergency” but was imminent. I had labored for over 20 hours and never progressed past 5 cm. The doctors told me I could keep trying however it may result in an emergency c-section, at that point 20 hours in and no progression I opted for the surgery. My son was born at 2:30pm on August 19th, 2012 weighing in at a whopping 9.6 lbs. He was a giant, which is ironic given the size of me, I’m a whopping 5”2. The Drs informed me that I have CPD, Cephalopelvic Disproportion – which is a condition that is difficult to diagnose so whether it is the truth or not who knows. Either way, when I got pregnant with my second, it was advised that I schedule a c-section.

My Dr. suggested I try a “skin-to-skin” c-section which is a new procedure they have developed. The baby is placed on mom’s chest as soon as it comes out, trying to mimic natural childbirth as much as possible. Usually in a cesarean section they take the baby away for a few minutes before mom gets to hold the baby.

On May 11th, we arrived at the hospital at 10am and then the waiting game proceeded. Around 11ish we were taken into a room with one of the wonderful nurses. She prepared us for what was going to happen and ran through a series of health questions with me. Next, I was going to walk myself into the operating room, while my husband was prepared for the surgery. Yes, that’s right, the nurse and I walked down the hallway. The walk was probably the most surreal part of the entire experience. Down the fluorescent hallway in a barely fitting hospital gown I went, off to meet the tiny bundle kicking me like crazy. The anesthesiologist and a student came into the room, they told me what they were going to do and that the first prick would feel like a bee sting but after that I shouldn’t feel anything.

For those women that have natural births, you are like Gods to me, you are a different breed of women, as far as I’m concerned. I salute you, I tip all my hats to you and your amazingness. For myself, I welcome the drugs, cause boy do they feel good. Either way in my case, there is no option for a drug free cesarean.

For some reason the hospital decided that putting a reflective surface on the ceiling was a brilliant idea. For those of us strapped down to the table, having nowhere to look but up, it seems like an absolutely terrible idea. Who on earth wants to watch them slicing you open? When I commented that I could see what was going on I was told not to watch. Come on now….that’s like turning your head the complete opposite way as you drive by a car accident.

By now, my husband had entered the room and he was standing at my head, gently brushing my hair away and saying all the right things. They had started operating and I could feel pressure but no pain whatsoever. In total the actual surgery took 20 minutes, which is crazy, 39 weeks to grow another human being and 20 minutes to get them out. 20 minutes and voila the Dr says: “it’s a girl!” I had absolutely no feeling about what kind of tiny baby was in my tummy, none whatsoever. I had always pictured myself with boys so was pretty shocked that the she was a she, elated and shocked. I kept saying, “she’s a girl, she’s a girl”.

Although I didn’t end up getting to do a skin to skin c-section as the hospital was short on staff, I still got to see her quite quickly and do some skin to skin. We spent the first week of her life doing skin to skin pretty much 24 hours a day, I highly recommend it.

Newborn babies change your life in ways you would never suspect, they truly are little miracles of life and I’m so excited to watch JJ change, grow and develop. IMG_3843

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Nikki is the owner/director of Seasons Family Centre. She completed a diploma in photography at Fanshawe College, followed by a degree in psychology at the University of Western Ontario. Shortly after she finished a post-graduate diploma at the Toronto Art Therapy Institute. She is a Registered Canadian Art Therapist. Over the next few years she extended her education through various courses in psychology, counselling and play therapy at George Brown College, Hincks Delcrest and Cross Country Education. For the past several years Nikki has been running art programs all across the city of Toronto at various schools, community centres, libraries and private homes. She also runs play therapy groups at Thorncliffe Neighbourhood Offices as well as private art therapy sessions. Nikki has taken several courses in baking and cake decorating through the Wilton certification program.

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